Love's Telegraph

While avoiding work one morning (I'm on the UK Olympic Prevarication squad) it occurred to me to have a nose at the Gutenberg Project to see if they had "Enquire Within" on file. And so they did!

An old favourite of mine, ever since I read a copy which includes such gems as the adverts in the cover ("The London Truss Company - For the relief of the Ruptured Poor throughout the Kingdom") and the many and varied Things You REALLY Need To Know

It contains all sorts of useful advice about removing stains, making almond icing etc. and Victorian etiquette. I'm sure the following would make life so much easier, if applied today. Better than "Got MSN and Cam?" anyway...

1978. Love's Telegraph

If a gentleman want a wife, he wears a ring on the first finger of the left hand; if he be engaged, he wears it on the second finger; if married, on the third; and on the fourth if he never intends to be married. When a lady is not engaged, she wears a hoop or diamond on her first finger; if engaged, on the second; if married, on the third; and on the fourth if she intends to die unmarried. When a gentleman presents a fan, flower, or trinket, to a lady with the left hand, this, on his part, is an overture of regard; should she receive it with the left hand, it is considered as an acceptance of his esteem; but if with the right hand, it is a refusal of the offer. Thus, by a few simple tokens explained by rule, the passion of love is expressed; and through the medium of the telegraph, the most timid and diffident man may, without difficulty, communicate his sentiments of regard to a lady, and, in case his offer should be refused, avoid experiencing the mortification of an explicit refusal.